A local deer has been spotted skittishly vacillating between crossing the street at the intersection of Midland and Quail, and just standing there with its big, dumb deer face. Local man Charles Briggs, stuck idling in the middle of the road, had this to say: “Well I guess I just don’t understand it. These things have presumably lived for thousands of years by the grace of whatever evolutionary necessity dictates that giant rats with hooves should grace us. But, they can’t figure out that the longer they linger in this dang street, the closer I get to running them over.”
The deer, a small buck with an apparently relaxed disposition, had no comments to give, and instead uttered a sound that was somewhere between a sneeze and a shriek. As of publication, there is no clear indicator if the deer did indeed cross the street.